Unbelief

As you can see there is a pot to his right and to his left. Malachi and Ezekiel were fighting over the pan on his right (ya know, the one he's clinging too!) I told Malachi to pick up the other pan. He wouldn't. He screamed, he shouted..."NOO..I want this pan!!!" I told him, "just pick it up Malachi and obey me first!" I had every intention on letting him keep his pan, and him giving the pan he didn't want to Ezekiel. But I wanted him to obey me first! He refused..."Just trust me!" I yelled!

I sit and scream at them for the 100th time saying "Don't you understand what I'm saying?! Ive only told you a million times!!! Just trust me!!!" Oh and then the Lord every so gently whispers..."Mary, you are just like them! I just want you to listen to me and trust me! I only have what is best for you! I LOVE you!!! I am always patient, always kind, full of love and tenderness...showing compassion at all times...consistent in my discipline but it ALWAYS flows out of a heart that's compelled by unconditional love...be like ME!" Oh then my heart breaks!...Oh how I am so reminded every moment how incredibly lacking I am!!

Oh how many times God sooo desires to bless us! And WE are the ones holding on...kicking and screaming. We somehow think that the Lord just wants to take from us; that He doesn't have our best interest in mind. Well of course we would say, He is good, sovereign, and loving...but do we believe that???????

When it comes to Him taking everything? and leaving us with ONLY Him? Is He enough? Do we trust Him to provide all that our soul will ever need?? Do we believe that He takes BECAUSE He loves us????

OH Lord!! Give us eyes to see and ears to hear what your spirit is saying! Give us obedient hearts to OPEN UP OUR HANDS AND HEARTS and give to you all that is YOURS!!!! Give me faith to trust you...to Love you....to BELIEVE You!!!!!!!!

"Lord, I believe...help my unbelief!"