A delightful picture in my mind

So, I try to capture everything...my camera is usually always sitting on my counter just in case my kids do something awesome, which is alot of course :), but this time is one of those moments even I knew I couldn't take a picture; I just had to embrace the moment.

I walk into Annabella "putting Malachi down for bed." And she really was! It was bedtime and SHE wanted to be the one to put him down. She told me to move to the door and I just backed away as I watched my three year old little girl sing and pray over her little brother.

Annabella- "Okay Malachi, now Im going to sing you Jesus loves me." Then precedes to sing it, beautifully I might add. :)

Malachi--"Two songs, two songs!!!"

Annabella-- "Okay Malachi, one more song...I'm gonna sing The B-I-B-L-E." Then starts to sing but Malachi pops up his head from the pillows.. And in the most motherly voice you've ever heard she said, "Now Malachi, this is not funny" and Malachi kept giggling, she then ponted her finger and spread out her arms and again, in the most nurturing and concerned voice she added, "This is not a game Malachi, you need to lay your heard on your pillow." And then continued to sing till the end of the song.

At this point, I about lost it, I mean like I said, I didn't know weather to laugh my head off or just start bawling about my ridiculous love for my children!!!

Then Annabella ended the songs and prayed over him, "Jesus, let Malachi know you and see you, be all around Him. In Jesus Name Amen" She actually prayed other stuff I didn't hear but I think she was meaning it to be just for Malachi's little ears! :)

It was one of those blissful moments that I will just have captured in my mind forever. No picture or even video camera could quite capture the sweetness and preciousness that I witnessed tonight.

Some days I really think my life is a zoo, I cry out for grace, strength, wisdom, and patience and in God's tender mercy he replys so incredibly beautifully by saying, "Just keep on keeping on...isn't it SOOO worth it!!!!!!??"

Annabella the photographer

She watches everything I do, hears everything I say...and as a result...YUP, you guessed it, she wants to be a photographer!

Hears the start of her portfolio...

She likes the candid pictures! haha

This one one awesome! She was like, "Now Malachi, I'm gonna take a picture of you! Throw your hands...now smile...a little bigger, move this way.........perfect!" hahaha

She had a hay day with me as her model! haha "Mommy do this! NO not that, THIS (and then show me and example of what face she wanted me to make)...ok, thats better." :)

"Throw your arms around like this mommy....yea yea, thats good!"

So as you can see, shes not just pointing and shooting here, this is some intense photography sessions! haha. Needless to say, now even if she doesn't have a camera on hand, she will make the nearest leggo a subistute one! haha

All i can say is....she needs to hang out with daddy more so she can start to like what he likes...ya know like math and stuff, cause Lord knows shes not getting it from me! :)

A very sad day...sorta :)

Ok, so maybe I'm being a little overly dramatic. But you try to stay calm, sweet, and kind when your 2 year old decides to get angry and throw an open bottle of nail polish across the living room.Trust me....it's difficult. Not sure if I should retell the thoughts or words that went through my head as I saw bright pink nail polish being thrown all over my newly covered couch and carpets.

:(

I can't even capture it all...*sigh*

ALL the products that google told me to try...

And them totally NOT working!!!! :(

I guess it's moments like that when you think..."okay...I could literally freak out right now..or I could just accept the fact that we probably just lost the deposit to our rental home and ruined our new piece of covered upholstery." Well at that exact second, I'm just gonna say right now, that whatever test it was, I totally failed it! haha I had a brake down...there I was a grown woman and a mother of 3 children and I was having a complete brake down...I'm talking a straight up 2 year old tantrum!! After my little "fit", Annabella said, "mommy why are you sooo upset??" It was then that I snapped out of my toddler re enactment and confessed, "Even mommy throws tantrums sometimes...I really need Jesus to help me!!" It was like all of the sudden it make sense to her and we understood each other! haha

Wow, who would have known it would have taken so much effort to forgive your toddler. I mean, in his defense, he throws everything. If he gets mad he just throws something and of course I usually just discipline him and calmly tell him not to that again; so he probably was thinking his mother had gone mad because she got sooo upset just because he threw a little bottle...*sigh*

I guess it's times like this when you really come to grips with how much nothing matters...really! I mean no matter how many times Malachi throws something or Annabella goes into a kicking a screaming panic attack, or Ezekiel climbs into the fireplace I will always love them...even like them!!! But what if the stakes get higher...what if they mess up stuff that's actually really important. What if they ruin your thousand dollar furniture, or ruin a potential job, or what if they accidentally burned down the house (or not accidentally)...you might still love them...but like them?? ...Oh Lord, we need your grace, your love, your heartbeat.....

Yes, it's times like this, after the initial shock wheres off that i realize...take my stuff, take my house, but in till the Lord decides to take them home, my children are here to stay and I will love them and LIKE them no matter what they do, no matter how much they destroy, how matter how crazzzzy they really are, or no matter how society may see them; it's MY job to show them un conditional love, to pour the love of Christ into them and let them know every single day how crazy me, their daddy, and Jesus is about them!!

Ok, so maybe I'm reading WAYY too much into this...haha..but I think it's just a small reminder that discipline is absolutely necessary and consistency is key but without UNCONDITIONAL love...it's nothing. Sound familiar?? :)

First pair of shoes!!!

First pair of shoes?? YUP, you heard me right! Ezekiel has not worn a pair of shoes out of our house since the day he was born! Hard to believe? Maybe to some, but it just didn't seem fitting!(hehe I couldn't resist) He hates clothes, let alone shoes; but we knew that the day had come. Ya know, now that hes not only walking but climbing like some sort of spider monkey we thought it might benefit him to have something sturdy to do all of his rigorous work out! :)

Where to find such a commodity?? Where else? Target of course!!!

Daddy putting on his first pair of shoes...monumental, I know! :)

Trying to decided between two pairs of shoes. Ezekiel wasn't convinced about any of it; he just stared at the shoes in great distress. haha

Where was Annabella through all of this? Well on the little girls shoe isle of course! We turn around and find her trying on multiple pink and purple shoes! She then preceded to have a melt down when she couldn't have them. Then when we got into the car and she settled down she declared, "Mom, when I get older and have kids, I'm gonna let my kids go to the store and pick out anything they want, and that will make them soooooo happy!" Charlie and I just looked at each other and died laughing..and responded, "You do that Annabella! haha"

The final decision! Yayy for shoes! :)

Sooo, all is well right?? No, not soo much! The first morning I put them on him when we were going out, he went into the living room and ripped them off in agony! I have yet to put them on him again...I surrender...theres always tomorrow! :)

Silly Annabella

So as we all know, Annabella is truly amazing (no bias here..hehe). But really, she is just a goof! She makes me laugh out loud at least 10 times a day! I just LOVE that kid!!! :)

Annabella's quotes for the week:

Annabella was trying to convince Charlie that she wanted to do something, and Charlie responded,"Now Annabella, your not making any sense. What we need to do is teach you some logic." As Charlie preceded to explain logic to Annabella. She looks up at him with a confused look and says sweetly, "Can we just play candyland instead?" haha

We were sitting on my bed and Annabella says, "Mom, ya know how we went to the blueberry farm?! I want to go to a cookie farm next time!!!!!" haha Her and both!!! :)

Annabella,Malachi and Ezekiel were playing in the boys room and all the sudden I heard Ezekiel screaming his little head off. Immediately I hear Annabella soothing him and comforting him saying, "oh baby, i am soo sorry..i am just so sorry little one." Before I could think how sweet my little girl was, the next words that came from her mouth were: "Oh Ezekiel, don't be sooo sad,I just bit you a little bit! I was just chewing up your little fingers!" hahahha Who says that?! Needless to say, Annabella got a little excited and decided to just chomp on Ezekiel's hand! Im not sure what to say about that! haha

Annabella woke up ridiculously early and she came to me and started softly rubbing my arm(soo precious, I know) and so I said, "Oh Annabella, that feels soo nice, you wanna keep doing that?!" and she sweetly whispered, "I can't mama, it makes me feel too stressful and tired!" haha


Now here are some pictures of Annabella being silly some more!





I just can't get enough!! :)

The Weeping Room

I listened to Jennifer Miller's testimony a couple of years ago and was ROCKED by what Jesus had done in her...then randomly about 6 months ago I was at a meeting and someone read this from her. I was UNDONE! I pray this will send you to your knees, as it did me. Once again I am reminded, JESUS IS EVERYTHING...His presence is all I desire.


"The Weeping Room - Pathway to Strategy"
By Jennifer Miller


One day as I was in prayer the Lord began to open up my eyes to a spiritual encounter. I saw myself being taken up to heaven. Before me I saw a huge house with many rooms. I knew instantly that this was the 'Father's House'. I could feel the love of the father drawing me in, so I began to run as fast as I could to enter the house. As I entered, the Lord walked with me through many rooms, each one packed with spiritual meaning.

He quietly invited me to follow Him into the most beautiful room in the whole house - the intimacy room. It was absolutely extravagant and beautiful. Upon entering the room, I was overwhelmed with love and wanted to stay there forever. In the Spirit I could hear other people (other believers) in all the different rooms of the house. Some were studying books in the library; others were becoming intoxicated in the spiritual wine cellar. I was somewhat surprised that everyone wasn't in the intimacy room since it was the most beautiful room in the whole house.

The Weeping Room

As I was admiring this intimacy chamber, I noticed a little wooden hatch door on the floor adjacent to the bed. It seemed really odd to me, because it wasn't fancy and hardly seemed to fit with the rest of the room. I asked the Lord why it was there, and He told me that it led down to another room in the house. I asked Him why He would put this door so close to the most beautiful thing in the whole room, the bed. He responded, "I keep it here, because down there is where I spend most of my time". Instantly my curiosity was stirred so I asked what was down there. He said it was called the "Weeping Room".

Although it hardly sounded like a room I wanted to be in, there was a cry in my heart that said that if that is where the Lord spends His time, then that is where I want to go. I asked Him if I could go down there with Him, and He responded "Very few will choose to go down there, it's not extravagant like this room, it's lonely, it's not comfortable, and you have to get very low to fit through the door." I told Him that I didn't care what the conditions would be like; I just really wanted to be wherever He was.

So we opened the little hatch door and began to slowly climb down a dark staircase until we came upon the tiny room. I had to get on my knees to fit through the door because it was so small. As we entered the room it was very simple. All it consisted of was a small wooden chair. One of the walls had a small window in it. The Lord took His seat on the chair and turned His face to look out the window. Instantly I became aware of why this room was called the weeping room.

You Could Hear Every Cry

As you looked out the window - you could see and hear every single cry coming from people on the earth. You could see every single act of injustice all at the same time. Every starving child crying out to God, every woman being raped, every moan of the rejected ... you could hear every prayer, every cry all at the same time. The Lord sat in His chair and watched and heard it all.

At once I was overwhelmed with intercession and began to weep. I wept for hours. I wept for those who were hurting, but even more - I was undone by this beautiful King who would choose to spend His time in this place; This King who paid such attention to every cry and who was so full of compassion. As I sat and wept with the Lord, I began to 'feel' His heart-and all my selfish ambition began to fade away

While we were in that place I noticed that there was another door in the weeping room. I asked the Lord what was behind that door and He told me that was where the 'Strategy Room' was. As He said those words, instantly in my spirit I knew in that room divine strategy for end-time revival was available. Although the door was still closed, I recognized that Wisdom and Revelation where in there.

Divine Strategy Room

Heavenly blueprints were laid out to see the fulfillment of His kingdom coming to earth from that room. It was like the hidden room that everybody searches for. Everyone longs to have divine strategy. I immediately asked if I could go in there and the Lord soberly told me that I didn't 'fit through the door'. I instantly understood that I had to spend time in the weeping room. As I began to really apprehend the heart of God for the poor and the broken, then issues of my soulish nature would be stripped away until I would become small enough to fit through the door.

At that moment everything became clear. This was the only way to access divine strategy. From the place of intimacy God invites us in to a deeper level - He beckons us into the weeping room-a place where we choose to see what He sees and feel what He feels. And as we spend time getting the heart of God, things of our flesh begin to be stripped away until we are small enough to fit through the door that leads to the strategy room.

I had this encounter over two years ago but I believe that God is now moving many in the church from the place of intimacy into weeping. This will lead them into the strategy room. In actuality, you never have to leave the intimacy room; you just discover the deeper levels. Many have already surrendered themselves to the weeping room and extravagantly pursued the heart of God for the broken- they are now being invited into the strategy room.


Oh Jesus, all we want is you.

Blueberry goodness

Me and some friends went out to the blueberry farm the other day and had so much fun! I mean, who knew picking blueberries with a cute little bucket would be so much fun! Although, driving there, I totally thought I was lost and any minute some creeper would jump out from the windy back roads! haha But the minute our car hit the old dirt road to the farm I felt I was in some country song...I turned up the music, rolled down my window and pretended just for a minute that I lived in some old Victorian house and I was driving to my ranch where I would be keeping my horses and vegetable garden (hahaha and I wonder where Annabella gets her imagination!)

The kids LOVED picking...Annabella was meant to live in the country...(side note: Annabella was on the phone with her Papa yesterday, my dad, and she told him, "Papa, for my birthday present I want to go to the mountains!!" Thats my girl!!!)

So here is Malachi picking blueberries?? oh wait, hes a little confused and picking the leaves instead! haha

He very quickly gets tired of that..and this is where I find him! hahaha You gotta love Malachi!!! :)

Annabella, on the other hand, is VERY enthusiastically picking every berry she can get her little hand on!!! :)

Team work!!

Where was Ezekiel during this time?? OHH yeah...just chilling in the stroller and every now and then Malachi would feed him some blueberries and he was good to go!

Now after the whole picking experience, Annabella could hardly wait to get home to make a blueberry pie! I'm talking she was going nuts, she just raved and raved about these blueberries and couldn't wait to get some warm yummy pie in her mouth....

Blueberries covered in yummy sugar and cinnamon....check!

Annabella's wonderful pinching ability for the edge of the crust (great job I might add hehe)

A little decoration for the top...

And BAM...you got yourself a YUMMY pie!!! :) or so I thought...

In conclusion:

Annabella-- took ONE bite of it and spit it out and declared.."I DO NOT like blueberries!!!"...WHAT??!! You DON'T like blueberries??? NOW you tell me! hahahaha!

Malachi-- refused to even touch it...

And EVEN Ezekiel--(who will eat dirt for goodness sake) took a bite and then seconds later opened his mouth and little the blueberry bits fall from his mouth! haha

In my defense, I think it tasted awesome and am convinced my children have some taste bud defect! haha...

Long story short...I ate almost an entire pie this week; I mean, I couldn't let it go to waste! :)

Nana,GG,and Grandpa fun!

My kids, like I'm sure most children, are pretty much obsessed with their grandparents! I mean, it doesn't matter if Malachi is in the middle of kicking and screaming, raising his arm, ready to throw something; (I mean...."hypothetically" hahaha) if I I tell him that Nana and Grandpa are coming over, the world is complete!!! This time GG (their Great Grandma) was coming to...truly now, all is well with the world!

Now, unfortunately these days my house looks more like an animal exhibit at a zoo than a pretty lil house, so I had MUCH cleaning to be done....in the midst of scrubbing floors and putting the two big kids to work; this is where I find Ezekiel...

Malachi had taken out chocolate chips when I wasn't looking and Ezekiel found them in a corner(hiding them like a little squirrel) chowing down! haha

He was quite enjoying himself!!! haha

Malachi snuggling with his "GG", and feeling "Lamby"(of course), Precious!!!! :)

Annabella and Malachi took turns trying on Nana's glasses on...what goof balls! :)

cuddles!

The boy lives on being tickled!! (creepy, I know! haha)

In conclusion:

Nothing beats great Grandparents!!! :)

Unbelief

As you can see there is a pot to his right and to his left. Malachi and Ezekiel were fighting over the pan on his right (ya know, the one he's clinging too!) I told Malachi to pick up the other pan. He wouldn't. He screamed, he shouted..."NOO..I want this pan!!!" I told him, "just pick it up Malachi and obey me first!" I had every intention on letting him keep his pan, and him giving the pan he didn't want to Ezekiel. But I wanted him to obey me first! He refused..."Just trust me!" I yelled!

I sit and scream at them for the 100th time saying "Don't you understand what I'm saying?! Ive only told you a million times!!! Just trust me!!!" Oh and then the Lord every so gently whispers..."Mary, you are just like them! I just want you to listen to me and trust me! I only have what is best for you! I LOVE you!!! I am always patient, always kind, full of love and tenderness...showing compassion at all times...consistent in my discipline but it ALWAYS flows out of a heart that's compelled by unconditional love...be like ME!" Oh then my heart breaks!...Oh how I am so reminded every moment how incredibly lacking I am!!

Oh how many times God sooo desires to bless us! And WE are the ones holding on...kicking and screaming. We somehow think that the Lord just wants to take from us; that He doesn't have our best interest in mind. Well of course we would say, He is good, sovereign, and loving...but do we believe that???????

When it comes to Him taking everything? and leaving us with ONLY Him? Is He enough? Do we trust Him to provide all that our soul will ever need?? Do we believe that He takes BECAUSE He loves us????

OH Lord!! Give us eyes to see and ears to hear what your spirit is saying! Give us obedient hearts to OPEN UP OUR HANDS AND HEARTS and give to you all that is YOURS!!!! Give me faith to trust you...to Love you....to BELIEVE You!!!!!!!!

"Lord, I believe...help my unbelief!"

July 4th fun!

So what is July 4th without sparklers, fireworks,good friends and yummy food??? I don't even know! :) Well my kids had nooo idea what this amazing phenomena was about the whole sparkler kick there mom was on; and I was just dying to show them this amazingly wonderful American tradition. First things first....go to a fireworks stand on the side of a street and buy sparklers from a kinda creepy guy...check! :)

Next...Wait for the 4th of July!

Oh how they hate the waiting period! They would just stare at those sparklers and cry, "I want the fire sticks!!!!" haha...(if you can't already tell, were raising our own little generation of pyromaniacs! haha) Charlie refused to let them hold them...at first I thought, "babe, they can just hold them at least." And then I was reminded...hey, its our kids were talking about here..they could make fire out of tree branches, I definitely wouldn't be surprised if they could find some sort of way to light a sparkler! haha

Sparkler time!!!!! As you can see, Ezekiel wasn't joining us for the sparkler festivities! I decided an ER visit for a kid who ate a lit sparkler didn't sound like my idea of a good time; so we let a friend hold him inside while any fire was taking place! haha

At first he was a little hesitant but just give it a minute...

He was totally enthralled! Look at those eyes, haha

They could NOT wait to go see the fireworks too, of course, and were practically counting down the seconds till we could get out the door!!

Daddy and the boys looking at fireworks!(What is that face Ezekiel?? haha)

Now unfortunately I didn't get a picture of this...but it must be told! There was (awesome) country music playing; and while the fireworks were going on Annabella decided to give our group and everyone around us a show as she did a ballet production in the shadow of the light display...classic! :)

The Ladies!! :)

Those silly boys! :)

Yummy food!!

Delightful friends!

BOYS...you can't live with um, you can't live without um! :)

Ok, so I just KNOW people don't believe me when I tell them how NUTS my boys are!
I mean, are they charming? Hands down. Handsome? Of course! Sweet? Most of the time. But slightly insane??-ABSOLUTELY!! haha Don't get me wrong, I am CRAZY about those boys; but they sure are a lil nutty!! hehe

So here I go...proving to the masses that I have children that are just a wee bit off their rockers! haha..although, can I really blame them? :)

EXAMPLE ONE.....

What kind of kid literally bites the end off of a maker and enjoys every minute of it!? MINE! :)
I mean, I love him to pieces; but REALLY Ezekiel? Is that actually yummy???

I'm not even really sure he is convinced! haha

The PROOF! Yuck! haha

Ohh! And the next day, he did the same thing again!! Needless to say, Annabella's not allowed to play with markers anymore because apparently she has trouble "forgetting" and leaving them in Ezekiel's pack 'n' play...hmmm... haha

EXAMPLE TWO...

Ezekiel has another little, what shall I call it...compulsion. He is an avid dumpster diver. Yes, you heard me right. The boy is preparing himself for the worst! haha Annabella continually gets on him about it, "Now Ezekiel, you can't just play in the trash, thats sooo yucky!" haha...no worries, I normally stop him but this time I decided to sneak some pics so you too could watch in wonder at the boy who would rather eat out of our trash can than be given a snack!! :)

There he is, searching for yummy goodies...

As you can see, that lid is posing as the enemy...will it win??

Yayy! He has succeeded! Now, if he can just get the remainders of this OJ, all will be well! :)

EXAMPLE THREE...

There is nothing worse than..."partners in crime"! Oh yes, Ezekiel and Malachi have reached the age where they have decided to join forces and use their wits and insightful ideas for the greater good---to make mommy go crazy! :)

So this is how I found them...*sigh*...I mean, what are you gonna say?! haha

Ezekel lathering himself with diaper rash cream...he's into preventive care! :)

And of course, Malachi...the master mind (or maybe just the one tall enough to reach everything haha)

So there ya have it...my boys really are absolute zane-bugs; but when I think about it; would I really have it any other way???!!! :)