The Cost of My Longings

Annabella comes running into the living room full of excitement and exclaims, "Oh mama, I just CANT WAIT for us all to die so we can go to heaven!!!" hmm..now on one hand I TOTALLY love her enthusiasm about heaven...on the other, she thinks being hit by a car is a one way ticket to the best place in the world! How do I explain to a 4 year old that yes, heaven IS AMAZING...but for now she is called to be here with mommy! Sigh...the joy of mommyhood and raising a Jesus lover! :)

Raising children can be tough...but raising Jesus loving, God fearing, generation changing passionate lovers of Jesus.....now that's a WHOLE other story!!!

If done the way Christ indended I venture to say that this is one of the most amazing and sacrificial callings a person could possibly have - to raise the next generation to be LOVERS of the King. Oh how I pray every day that I will not screw it up. But then again I am confident in His supernatural grace that continues to pour out despite of my shortcomings as a friend, a wife, and a mom.

Oh can you just imagine if we as mommies didn't push aside our callings as mothers and always be hoping for when we can finally get to do what WE want to do (jobs, school, careers, hobbies, ministries, just a girls night out). What if we REALLY did see this as the most amazing opportunity of our life time!!! Sometimes I hear myself say and others as well, "Oh but I deserve a little 'me' time.....I NEED this.... I can't just be a wife and a mother all the time, I need something of my own!"

Hmm...I don't know about you but that just doesn't seem to settle right with me. Now I'm not saying that God doesn't have callings on our lives or that he doesn't want us to go out and fellowship with our girls...but what I am saying is this - we were NEVER meant to find our identity in ANYTHING but Jesus Himself! Not a job, not a ministry, not even our husband or children. So when people say, "I'm not just a mom and a wife..I'm more than that." I will say, THAT'S ABSOLUTELY RIGHT...you're a DAUGHTER OF THE LIVING GOD!!!! and of course they will say, "Oh I know, I know, but you know what I mean..."

But what do we mean when we say that? Jesus makes it pretty dang clear....He is EVERYTHING...we are to find ALL joy, all peace, all satisfaction in Him and we are to live completely for HIS agenda at all time. We are just pawns in his master chess game!! NO longer living for ourselves...but ONLY for His glory and His purposes.

So....all of that to say, what if His calling for me is to be a mother to my 3 children and a wife to my husband. What if I never did anything "greater" than make dinner, tell the grocery clerk about Jesus, and read "Good Night Moon" at bed time? Would that be enough? What if I found ALL of my joy in Jesus and needed nothing and no one else to satisfy that place? What if we embraced our amazing callings as mothers and didn't try to be something "more"? Wow....what if?????????

All I know is...I want more and more of Jesus. But for my kids....I want them to have TEN FOLD!

So...what will it cost us in this life??? .................Everything! And when it's not costing us everything, shouldn't we begin to question why????

Oh Lord, give me grace to LOVE you, to LOVE my husband, to LOVE my children, and to LOVE everyone around me with a heart that cannot help but love them and a heart that is so passionately consumed with your presence I can't NOT give everything at your feet! Continue to remind me everyday.....YOU ARE EVERYTHING!!!!!