Mothers day

Okay so be fore warned that this is being written on my iPhone at 6 am by a pregnant mama that hasn't slept all night. Okay.. With that said. :)

Mothers day... I have mixed feelings about this wonderful day. I see some people that haven't had any children yet and there heart so desires to have children and this day of such longing. Oh how they wish they too could enter in on this day. And my hearts goes out to them because I know to some degree how that feels. It wasn't but only 8 years ago when I lost my first precious baby at the ripe old age of 16. Every one thought maybe I should be happy about it. Now I could go on with my life, right? Yet there was now an ache...a void that every mother feels after the loss of a lil baby. I then looked at every mother with a small but real sense of envy. I so desired to hold my precious little baby like they were holding theirs. So I am well aware others are experiencing that very same thing today and for that my heart breaks for them.

Then there's the mom thats on the other side. Oh us young moms have all known them. They smile at us in the grocery store when our kids are being "cute" aka trying to climb out of the cart and open up all the food. They see us stressed and reply"oh how I wish my kids were that age again! It goes by so fast." you smile back and you feel half encouraged and half annoyed thinking,"trust me, if you had my kids you would NOT want to go back in time." haha They are the ones that love to hold our precious newborns but when they start to scream they hand them back graciously but yet with a smirk on their face as if to say, "oh i remember this season of life... But how great is it to be able to give them back at the end of the day.". Now i am not trying to put these people in a negative light. They have done their time and have finished well and now are on the other side and being able to enjoy the finished product. Today for them is a day of remembrance. A day to look back on all the memories that they've had and to thank the Lord that they were able to get through it. :)

Then there's me. I got maybe 4 hours of sleep last night which was interrupted but a screaming 3 year old and a kicking baby in my tummy. I then kicked off the morning at 530 am having to disciple 2 out of three children for throwing a tantrum. Even as I'm writing I am having to stop to break up a fight and to remind my son that hands are not for hitting and voices are not for screaming at people. :) Yes, at this very moment motherhood is a very real reality...with all it's glory and lack thereof. :). At this stage in life there is definitely moments with my kids where there is un controllable laughter... Where I look at them and I have to resist myself from squeezing thier little faces because they are so ridiculously cute. But then there are many mornings like today where I have to call on the Lord for supernatural grace to make it through the morning.

So happy mothers day to you whether you are a mother at heart or whether your kids are grown and gone. But a very special mothers day to you mommies who may feel like me today. With Gods grace... This too shall pass. :)